The other day I was at an event and a woman recognized me. I’m going to be painfully honest here…I get that all the time (in Tulsa), people recognize me from somewhere and can I tell you something? I rarely ever tell them where.
I know where, I know it’s from my old job, I know where they’ve seen me and I know why they’re asking but admitting to the “where” ultimately leads to the “why.”
“Why don’t you do MSQ anymore?” and “What do you do now?”
And, you know what? I don’t want to answer either of those questions.
It’s ridiculous. I know that. I realize that. And, I’ve had enough therapy to understand that. But, I find myself telling people I don’t know where they’ve seen me before and I walk away.
And, admitting that to you right now is enough to lead me to tears.
Why do I still struggle, all these years later with a business I no longer own?
It was a business, businesses go up and down and sometimes you sign contracts with shady people, sometimes people take credit for things they didn’t do and sometimes people take you clear out-that’s business, right? Yes, it is and I’ve owned several businesses but MSQ well, MSQ wasn’t a business to me.
It was a passion, it was a lifestyle and it was a ministry in my heart.
And for that reason, I can’t give everyone an explanation as to what happened and why. I just can’t because I don’t fully have one even now, all these years later. I just don’t know. So, sometimes I have to walk away because I just don’t know what to say and saying anything at all just hurts.
I’m admitting that to you right now because some of you have similar things-it might not be business but it might be a relationship, it might be a job, it might be a marriage, it might be a situation and you know what? Not everything needs an explanation and further, even if you do have an explaination-not everyone needs to know it.
And, that’s ok.
It’s ok to not say anything sometimes. I’m working on my responses, I’ve been working on them for years but sometimes, I just need to keep walking so I don’t spend the rest of my day reliving all the bad instead, I remember the good.
Keep your focus on the good, do your best to keep moving forward. I talk about being an overcomer and a warrior often but no one becomes a warrior without a battle and battles are not easy. So, it’s ok every once in a awhile to take a deep breath and just keep moving.
This is hard to admit so I hope it helps someone. ❤️
-Sarah
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