always a fighter, never a victim

Always a Fighter, Never a Victim: Stop the Victim Mentality Dead in its Tracks

always a fighter, never a victim

A few years ago, a crime was committed against me.  A woman called me a day or two later from the police station to see if I was doing ok and let me know there were resources available for victims.

The word “victim” hit me hard. I didn’t like it. It made me feel weak like I wasn’t strong enough to stop what had happened. Then, it hit me, I was a victim of a crime but that did not mean I had to be a victim in my mind.

A victim mentality is something that will wreck every single area of your life. It’s easy to take on, in fact, I’m sure you know people who have it. One scroll through your newsfeed and you’ll see them, they wear their circumstances like a chain around their neck and they cannot help but talk about it. #IAmAVictim

According to Wikipedia, here is the definition of a victim mentality:

“an acquired (learned) personality trait in which a person tends to regard him or herself as a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave like it were the case—even in the absence of clear evidence.”

I am sure there are a few reading this who have also developed a victim mentality.

But, I’m going to be real honest with you, having a victim mentality will freeze you right in your tracks and keep you from ever moving forward. This means, you have developed a mentality that locks you in to your past circumstances and you’re not going to get out until you make the conscious decision to break free.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36

A victim mentality keeps you from taking ownership of your own actions whether good or bad, it keeps you blaming others for everything wrong in your life and it keeps you from fulfilling your purpose. After all, it is impossible to move forward when you’re constantly looking back. We’ve all read that on Pinterest, right?

I have spoken on divorce several times but you know the number one thing I tell people? Do not let yourself become a victim. Yes, real things happen, I am not talking about dealing with the legal system, I am simply referring to the mentality, do not let the victim mentality set in.

If you give the victim mentality even a little bit of room, it will take over and before you know it, your life will be consumed by your past circumstances. You’ll wake up thinking about them, you’ll go to bed thinking about them and you’ll spend the entire day talking about them.

Here’s the deal, you can be a victim or you can be victorious but you cannot be both. 

If you feel like the victim mentality has begun to sneak it, stop it. Speak to it and say no. Don’t let it get ahold of you. Fight it. War against it. Be a fighter, not a victim.

Let’s get practical, start thinking about your conversations during the day, how many times did you bring up X today? How many times did you think about X? How many things have you blamed on X today? How many times did you post about X today?

Holding onto the past hurts from someone else does not do a single thing to the other person, it only hurts you. Get honest with yourself, ask God to show you if you’re struggling with this and help you break free. Get strong in the Word.

It’s time to drop the victim mentality and grab hold of the victory! Don’t let someone else or something else in your past keep you from the future God has in store for you.

“But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 15:57


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