Grab a chair and some coffee; today is a hard conversation day. Today, I am going to expose something that has been happening in my life for the last four years. I am going to do it because I believe when God’s light shines in the darkness, the darkness must flee. I am no longer willing to let this darkness hang over me.
I have received e-mails, texts, social media messages, etc. for years that have attacked my character, my morality and my Christian beliefs. Many (if not all) of these messages have included veiled threats of revealing the “truth” to my readers or others. Recently, I received another one of these messages with the obvious intent of holding this “truth” over my head in an attempt to shame me and belittle me.
However, I refuse to let this behavior continue. Enough is enough.
While these individuals think they know the “truth” about me, in truth, they do not know me at all.
Today, I am going to stop the shame, I’m going to stop the attempts at keeping me down and I’m going to be transparent with you (my readers) and let you decide for yourselves.
**The e-mail I received is below, my response is in bold print and italicized.**
Woman to woman, Sister in Christ to Sister in Christ, I pray these words fall on you gently and you take some time to sincerely consider them.
When we use the Word of God or Christian terminology to shame others or condemn others, we are misusing the Word of God and that is wrong in every single way. This is manipulative and a play on my faith which continued throughout the e-mail. If you see this type of thing, a red flag should immediately go up.
You’ve created your own environments with your personal choices and actions and keep blaming others, including me. You’ve created an entire on-line platforms based on the consequences of your decisions, only, you’ve put a twist on everything to paint yourself as the victim.
I was an actual victim of a crime, a series of cybercrimes, stalking and violation of protective orders. Those are real factual events, however, I do not carry a victim mentality, as I know we fight from a place of victory. My online platforms are designed to encourage others through their own difficulties and challenges in this life, these platforms all existed prior to any of the events mentioned in this e-mail.
You had an affair with a married man and his wife was angry and had him followed so you’ve turned that into how you “earned” a stalker and had a “sabotaged” reputation. You sabotaged your own reputation by having an affair. You of all people should easily relate to her emotions; I understand you were pretty angry when you discovered [your ex-husband’s] affair. Yet, you refuse at accept your roll (sic) in the entire situation. You were sleeping with a married man. No matter how you dice it “he was legally separated” or “he was going through a divorce” or “finishing up his divorce”, the fact still remains, at that point in time he was married to another woman while he was courting/dating/sleeping with you. Whether you like it or not you were a major contributor to breaking up their marriage. As a Christian woman, you know it was an affair, you just cant seem to admit it. It doesn’t take rocket science, only a little bit of math and independent thinking, to figure out that his divorce was final on November 14 and the two of you were married December 3 of the same year…that’s not quite even a month. And yet, you maintain you are innocent and did nothing wrong. You are doing a disservice to your readers and it’s an insult to their intelligence by not telling the truth.
First, those dates are entirely incorrect.
Second, the “stalking” I refer to is not of my husband but of myself (however, both are illegal). Pictures of my children, details of who they are playing with, following us to parks, pools, digging through our trash, bugging our cars, soliciting people on social media to harass me etc. not to mention the multiple fake social media accounts that are created regularly to follow my pages and the use of others to deliver messages, that is the stalking I refer to which is well documented in police reports, legal filings as well as my own personal documentation.
Third, as for the “truth” you would love to reveal, here it is…my now husband asked me out on a date about two months after he filed for divorce from his first wife. Before I would date him, he actually met with my parents, my friend and my sister. Since he was an investor with my company, we also asked permission of the board of directors. We did eventually start dating, again, two months after his divorce was filed; his ex-wife was also dating someone at that time.
While everyone has a different opinion on if that is considered an affair or not, I do not believe it is nor did anyone in my family, friends or others I trusted. While I would not recommend it today, it was a decision I made at that time knowing his divorce would take awhile to complete and that was that. No affair, no secret meetups, simply dating.
When this occurred, my now husband was texted the following from his soon to be ex-spouse, “I am willing to negotiate including her and her persona” and “It can haunt her forever or not You haven’t seen anything yet I promise…”
What occurred from that point forward can be found here Becoming a Survivor. The short of it, this story of an affair, lying, cheating, etc. was created for the purpose of blackmail, which has been well documented and was addressed at length in court.
To address the statement, “You were sleeping with a married man,” I can say I was sleeping with no one. That is a bold statement to make from people who clearly do not know me at all nor would they have any way of knowing that kind of personal information. It simply did not occur.
This is one reason you are stuck in self-deception. Until you can be honest with yourself about what you did, you lose all credibility when it comes to the topic of affairs, sabotaged reputations, and speaking truth. Your saying of “ The truth will always come out, it might as well come from you” doesn’t hold water until YOU can tell the truth. And if you aren’t going to be 100% truthful about it, then find a new platform.
I am telling the 100% truth it is your choice if you would like to believe it or not. The accusations in this e-mail were written by someone who not only was not present during this time but also does not know either myself or my husband on a personal level at all.
I will say thank you for bringing up my quote, I love that one, the graphic is below if you’d like to share it. That quote motivated me to publish this e-mail publicly and address it publicly so my readers that you feel have been deceived can read the truth and decide for themselves.
Going back to regular font now, this is from me…
The e-mail did continue however, I am not publishing the rest. I will say it consisted of more lies about my current husband, what this person believes about him, all the “proof” they have of how horrible we are and so forth. We’ve heard it all before and I have no doubt I will hear it all again however, I am only addressing the specific “truths” this person feels my readers must know.
I chose to address the issue about a supposed “affair” publicly because as I said above, Satan hides in the dark. I think the reason these accusations and e-mails have continued from these individuals for so many years is because I have not publicly addressed the issue, they want public exposure.
So, here you go.
I won’t allow dating my husband to be held over my head, it’s ridiculous to say the least. As I said above, we dated while his divorce was still being finalized. I would not do that again nor would I recommend that, I’ll own that part of it however, I do not believe it was an “affair” and certainly not in the way portrayed in this e-mail or the other ridiculous posts and messages.
If you are reading this and you disagree, that’s ok. If it makes you uncomfortable, feel free to unfollow the page. It’s alright, I’m not offended and I am not going to be continually condemned over this.
I am not a newbie to Satan’s tactics, spiritual warfare or hidden shame. I get it. I know my real enemy and it is not the people who send these e-mails.
At the end of the day, here’s where I shake out, if Satan is trying this hard to knock me down, I must be moving in the right direction. I’m not perfect, I make mistakes and that’s why I’m grateful to worship a God of grace. My armor is dented, there are a few holes in it but I’m still here, I’m still fighting.
Listen, Satan doesn’t attack those who are just treading water, he attacks those that are in the battle, fighting hard, he attacks the warriors.
I am a warrior. I’m in the arena, I’m not sitting on the bench. Whether you agree with the decision I have made or not, I know where I stand with Christ, I know where I stand in this battle and no amount of e-mails will keep me from the call God has on my life.
Today, the door is being shut on this issue. I will not entertain another e-mail nor will I discuss it further, it is time to move on. Warrior on.